curious george

So this guy had just gotten back from a frat retreat, where they were basically forced to drink and do crazy shit all weekend so he was exhausted the entire night. And we were pregaming and he asks me about guys that I’ve hooked up with at USC. So I tell him about this sophomore guy I kissed. And we’re at the bar kissing because I’m very drunk and ten seconds into it he pushes away and goes “so am I a better kisser than that guy?” And I was like “uhh, sure?”
So then he decides that since we are both tired we should go back to the dorms, and while we’re on the bus he starts asking me all these questions like “what do you like to do? Do you like to do everything? I mean we could do everything if you want?” And I’m like “whatever we will just see how things go? Haha.” Then as we’re walking up to the dorms he starts asking even more questions like “So what room do we want to go to? Do we want to go to a room? I mean what do you want to do?” And I’m like “Um let’s go to my room, calm down.” So we get to my room. I leave for one minute. I come back, he’s stripped down to his boxers on the bed and goes “so are you ready?” and I just busted up laughing uncontrollably in his face.
Then after a while of kissing we start, ya know.. doing other things and he starts asking MORE questions like “so do you shave? Do you use birth control? Should I wear a condom?” like nervously asking away. And then he goes “Will you get on top first becase I really like that” and I’m like uhh ok. So we do that. About THIRTY SECONDS LATER he’s like “okay can I be on top now?” And then about THIRTY SECONDS AFTER THAT he’s like “can we do it doggie style?” And then he has condom issues, and its pretty obvious he’s never used a condom before and therefore pretty obvious it was his first time.
So after a wopping minute and a half of sex I just jerked him off, and as soon as I’m done with that he’s like “oh my god Christina I’m going to be so nervous until I find out that you’re not pregnant”… after I just jerked him off with my hand! And I’m like WHAT THE FUCK and literally laughed in his face and was like “wow you really have nothing to worry about.” He asked if he should stay and hang out? Or sleep over? Or leave? Or what should he do?!.... Needless to say I just said … “You can just go.”